dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize