My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize