farters have to be the big spoon...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
