WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
