my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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