I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
