Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
