tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
