I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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