I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
