I think i peed on brittanys purse
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
