Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
