Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
