How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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