OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
