Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Randomize
