She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
