Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
