i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
