Having a random hookup so left but love u
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
