Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He? As in you personified your dick?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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