I think I am morally bankrupt
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
