The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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