Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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