All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
