Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
