My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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