It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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