highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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