The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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