Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
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I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize