I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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