So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
