he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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