Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
