I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
