Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
