We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
