I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
