Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
