On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
