my phone needs a breathalizer
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the day after is always just damage control
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
