I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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