At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
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