Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
