honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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