The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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