Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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