one word: firstdatebathroomanal
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
