she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
