you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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