I could have mohawked her pubes.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
