I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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