How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize