Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
