I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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