He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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