If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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