idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
