I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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